Saturday, May 17

Because I'm Happy

In the last few days life has been good, and more importantly my mental attitude has improved significantly. I've not been unhappy but there has been a noticeable malaise in my day to day life. I think there are a few events that have given me renewed vigour.

First off reducing my drinking seems to have relieved a burden. It almost feels like I was forcing myself to drink, and by stopping drinking I seem to have gained a healthier attitude towards alcohol. It's also given me significantly more financial freedom as I'm not burning money on drink any more. Today I bought this beautiful specimen with the money that would have otherwise gone on booze.

Secondly I've had a very successful interview (I'm currently unemployed) and have been invited back for another interview. Moreover I've been given a problem by the interviewer to solve. I now have an important project to work on, the consequences of which could change my life significantly. I can visualise in my head being hired and working in this company. If successful it would mean the end to my pauper lifestyle. When you are unemployed the constant scrimping and saving mind set is tiring. I can't hang out with friends, and drink or eat, as much as I would like. I can't update my threadbare wardrobe, where most of my clothes are years old. I can't read the books I want to. I can't take up the martial arts or dancing classes that my body craves. I can't buy the ingredients I want so I can indulge in cooking.

However I don't think spending abundantly is a good thing, I've always hated wasting money and impractical spending. I'm a saver. But when you are unemployed, too much of what you want is unreachable due to the lack of monetary resources. This especially jarring for me after being employed in Singapore, where I was able to do everything I wanted and still save 20% of my salary.

Thirdly I had a great Friday night with karaoke. I've never done karaoke and was keen to try it out with some of the Singaporean friends I've made in Auckland. The night started out very late. I originally wanted to meet at 9 pm, but we put it back to 10 pm, and by the time we started it was 11 pm. I spent the first hour or so hanging out with a Singaporean girl whom I initially took for shy. She opened up and I enjoyed our conversation. Once every one finally arrived there was slight awkwardness, since many of us didn't know each other. This awkwardness would quickly pass once we began singing.

I was nervous about singing, since I've always considered myself an awful vocalist and never sung in public. But I took up the mic on the 1st song and enthusiastically got right into it. As I've found time and time again in life, things are never that bad and the right attitude is important. I still feel I sung terribly but my friends were laughing and clapping as I sung. I couldn't help but join in the laughter, laughing at yourself is an important skill. I was having lots of fun, even if I was horribly off key. I also got to know some of the people there better and left with more friends than when I arrived.

So to sum things up, less drinking, great job opportunity and karaoke have helped me feel  more happy and fulfilled.