Not A Food Review: Everybody's

Cuisine: Japanese Fusion

Price: $70 for set menu

Location: 44 Queen Street, Auckland
Website: http://www.everybodys.co.nz/

Not A Food Review is an informal first impression of a restaurant I've eaten at, in which I did not taste enough of the dishes to form a definitive opinion of the establishment.

Everybody’s (also known as Everybody’s Izakaya) recently refreshed their menu. Previously offering Japanese fusion, their latest menu has a heavier slant towards European and Western flavours. The décor is rather minimalistic with the low lighting projecting a casual, yet refined atmosphere. I arrived at Everybody’s with a vegetarian friend. The set menu looked appetising, so we ordered it for two people and challenged the chefs to use only vegetarian ingredients. What followed was an incredibly boring experience.

Half a dozen courses were served, most of which were cold or warm. Vegetables comprised the bulk of each plate with minimal dairy, grain or eggs.  Disappointingly almost all of the dishes were bland, under seasoned and boring. What was truly baffling was that if I cook some bok choi with soy sauce, sesame oil and light spicing, I can create a delicious vegetarian dish. How is it a kitchen of full time chefs, with dozens of ingredients, could fail to create a memorable vegetarian meal? I will say that the presentation was excellent, and there was a discernable effort made to use several ingredients per dish. As a result there was a variety of textures from the different vegetables. Perhaps the only enjoyable savoury plate was a potato heavy, creamy dish. The potatoes were fantastically crisp and the cream added a nice silky texture, which contrasted fantastically. The only true high point of the meal came at the end, in the form of a delicious chocolate lava cake. It was indulgent and we utterly enjoyed it.

At Everybody’s we gave the chefs a tall challenge, and it’s one they failed almost entirely. The dishes were typically bland, cold and under seasoned. The only saving grace was the excellent dessert. I will not be back to Everybody’s in a hurry, even if the meal included meat.

3/10

All Bark, No Bite

It started out like any drinking night. Clean the flat, buy booze, welcome people and socialise. We played drinking games; Ring of Fire (called Kings Cup or Circle of Death elsewhere in the world). I couldn’t recall all the rules, so I had to ad lib. We drew cards, we got drunk, then I lost. I drunk a mug full of soju, wine, whiskey and coke as the penalty for losing. After that I remember nothing.

I woke up in the morning, my teeth felt strange. I got up, and winced at the pain in my knee. I hobbled to the bathroom mirror and opened my mouth. A gap tooth monster started back at me. My central incisor was half gone, and the other one chipped. My mouth was bloody and my lip swollen.  I couldn’t remember a thing. I Skyped my parents and swore profusely about my lack of teeth.

When my flat mate woke up I ran to him and asked what happen. He didn’t know. Apparently I got into a fight. I could believe that, I’d been in fights before, but my wounds didn’t add up. I concluded that I must have face planted the payment and destroyed my teeth.

I arranged a dentist appointment for that afternoon. I arrived and chatted with the friendly dentist and technician. I was still partially drunk, so was extremely talkative and had the ladies cooing. 2 hours later and $200 poorer my teeth were fixed, and looked fantastic. Who knew that cosmetic dentistry was so easy and cheap?

I still feel slightly sentimental at the loss of my own beautiful teeth, but I can’t turn back time and get them back. So I might as well get on with life.

Maybe next time I won’t drink as much.

Maybe next time I won’t drink on an empty stomach.

Maybe next time I won’t lose Ring of Fire.